You know, Eddie Izzard made a good point in that stand up. Noah's Ark took all the good animals as God flooded the world. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FISH and other ocean creatures? Clearly, there are still evil fish around. And I was sort of thinking all day about that. Just how creepy the ocean is. It's kind of what happens in there is sort of the opposite of evolution. There are some pretty creepy things in the ocean. And even if they look cute they are complete and utter assholes.

So ocean creatures are pretty annoying and evil. The Bible Says So.

In other news, I fully believe that brinner is under-appreciated by many Americans. If I get married he/she must make me brinner once a week. So I think... tonight will be waffle night. Who wants in?

And now for something completely different:

6 Real Planets that Put Science Fiction to Shame

You know, when I went to school in the country (okay New Haven, CT is not exactly the country but compared to NYC it is), it was crazy to be able to see the stars. But after reading about Amatsu-Mikaboshi the other day in the Catacombs I am thinking the dolphin rule applies to stars too.

Buuut we have Perseus up there. And Orion. And Andromeda so maybe they can't be all that bad.

Current Mood: blah

So there is this guy, Christian, at work, the one who has a Happy Trail so thick you can sometimes see it when he wears a white shirt, who brought up the concept of Bibliomancy. Basically, you ask a book a question and you pick a random passage and that will tell your future. It was kind of slow today. I actually got most of my work done before lunch and had my article turned in by 1. So Happy Trail Guy and I were playing Bibliomancy with Christian's Bible (haha spare the coincidence).

This is what some of my answers were (I wrote them down, so what?)

Will I ever find true love?

"You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low"

Will I ever be able to run faster than the speed of sound?

"A little while and the wicked will be no more"

Will I ever have drunk awkward sex with either of my roommates?

"He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the LORD, in the majestyof the name of the LORD of God."

There is more but I don't feel like posting them all. SO MY CHALLENGE TO YOU! Choose a book to be your guide and post it below and people can ask you questions in which you bibliomancied.

I WILL CONTINUE WITH THE BIBLE!

Here, enjoy Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

Current Mood: amused

I cancelled plans for tonight for my usual bouts of clubbing to do something sensible like continue writing. However, I find I can never schedule this because when I do, I won't do it. No, a good time to write is when I'm still up at 4am. Or I write on a napkin during lunch. Or I'll write while watching "How the States Got their Shapes" on the History Channel (yeah I don't know either). I'm pretty sure the muse who helps me right is just a fickle bitch. She must be blonde. Because you know what they say about blondes! So instead of writing, I decided to update my journal. SO HERE I AM.

Ari's birthday was awesome. I love spraying paint pellets on people. Man, sometimes I like parties like that as opposed to the traditional, loud music, drinks, and hooking up kind. Maybe I have finally matured.


Fart.


Maybe not!

Here. Enjoy things that douchebags destroyed

And have some more Philosoraptor!

Current Mood: busy

I am not sure if I feel glad I finally got a damn cup of tea or the fact I realized I hate tea.

Either way, I'm glad to be back and my least favorite writer is Douglas Adams. At least I wasn't stuck in a Robert Jordan book because I am pretty sure those books lost its point a while ago.

Even now, I look at my bookshelf with intense suspicion.

Current Mood: relieved

Sorry for the somewhat radio silence. With all this great technology, I forgot about my blasted cell phone. I also tried to get into shape and realized I would much rather read instead.

Still have no tea. I really have been craving tea.

Even now and I have a couple of mice after me and I still really want tea. Yes. I am not even messing around. Mice are after me and all I can think about is tea.

They're pandemensional beings or some such. It is on the tip of my tongue.

I'm hiding now and I am half tempted to leave Arthur to them.

Current Mood: annoyed and British

Looks like I lucked out for the most part. I'm in space on a spaceship that is fueled by improbability. I have eccentric company and that annoying twat Jackson and interesting books to read. All I have to worry about is getting my brain harvested.

If anyone needs any help, I've read most of the books mentioned already.

Current Mood: relaxed

You know it's Friday when you and your co-worker friend (who does international Asian Politics) spend the afternoon giggling over just how UNPHOTOGENIC Kim Jong Un is.

Granted, Kim Jong-il was not the most photogenic of people. After all, we have the wonderful Kim Jong-il looking at things

But consider this for a moment:



It started early. Wow, I would be suspicious of a potential tyrant when you have an older brother who is mildly attractive in comparison.



You know, he is not unphotogenic because of his weight but it certainly does help.



"Seriously, dear leader, this was the best picture I could get!"



Yeah, he really looks confident and knows what he's doing as he gets into that tank.



The NEW Dear Leader with Bed head!



I'm a General REALLY! This is how you're SUPPOSED TO HOLD A GUN!

I will finish with:



---

In other news, if you plan to pull a prank on me, please give me a list of your allergies beforehand. Thanks in advance!

Also, what is with the trains acting all fucked up? I should just permanently use portals as a means of travel.

Current Mood: amused

Well, I rang in the new year by writing a lot in my novel. It turns out that not partying causes me to get things done. And now I fully understand why my mother would write during New Years. And clearly, the universe smiled on me for my productivity because there was a very cute boy in my bed when I stopped. :D

So! Now it is 2012! Enjoy it, people, because we all know what will happen on 21 Dec 2012! Maybe... well probably not. Still! That is good advice! Live every day like your last!

I'm pretty lucky this week at work that I got another boring human interest story to write on because with Iowa, all the attention of the higher ups is on that story so I can be kind of lazy.

10 Famous Authors Famous Addictions.

Current Mood: amused

Well, that was a great Christmas gift... My headache began to temper off yesterday and it's gone today. Still, mom and dad have been babying me since I came over this morning. Dad already told me no alcohol. Only water. You know, sometimes it is helpful to have a doctor in the family but right now it kind of sucks. Then, Andy is right on his heels about dispensing medical advice... stuff he learned in Medicine 101 or some such.

I think I graduated fully into adult presents now. Got a lot of clothes and stuff I needed. Although I did get the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition on Blu-Ray so that was something. Also, Skyrim. And a bunch of books. I also got a pair of free weights. Olivia's fiance... you are slowly getting on my Okay list. Although when I unwrapped them, I pretended like I was insulted... that I was somehow small. He'll learn, though, he'll learn. :)

And now, it is family movie time. I think The Help is on the queue.

Ari, Brady... I'll be back by 8 tonight, I think! I will bring back dinner!

Current Mood: sleepy

Boss sent me home. I feel...

ioehoijsp0-[w3j-s0i-0k2pcom-,po,-iqk[s

I think I'm dying. He probably should have called the Amber Lamps.

Current Mood: sore

Holy crap. I woke up 3 hours ago with the biggest hangover since my 21st birthday! Sorry if I offended anyone during my escapades!

That was an awesome birthday! That's for the gifts, everyone. And the Dora cake... A+. I did put Diego in the cake river at some point during the night. That is what he gets for ... going. Yep! I remembered it tasted good but trying to remember it now is probably not the best of ideas.

Thanks to everyone who came (I am so proud of you, Shuro).

Now, I have to somehow get something down so I can make it to work tomorrow. Water. I need water. I'm a runner. I hate being dehydrated. Like my piss needs to be TRANSPARENT for me to be happy about it. Right now, it isn't so as soon as I can roll out of bed, I will get some.

Unless, BRADY... can you get me one of my bottled waters? :D?

Current Mood: hungover

I am done with X-Mas Shopping! Online shopping makes it so much easier and I don't have to worry about shoplifting


See more on Know Your Meme

:D

Current Mood: amused

Murders, death, uncertainty. All us demi-gods should be used to it by now. I will not let this new adventure spoil my birthday party plans!

The 21st falls on a Wednesday which is a crappy time to have a birthday. So my party will be on the 17th because I'm sure no one wants to celebrate on the 24th. So I say that my party be also a Christmas party (not like I'm not used to it anyway).

I can already feel getting old. I can't drink myself into a coma on a Monday night and be functional the next day. Next thing I know, I will be wearing pants up to my chest and have an ear horn.

I will say, having portal abilities makes the commute a lot easier. It just exacerbates hangovers.

Current Mood: bouncy

Ahh, it is nice to be clean shaven again! Since Movember is over, I am returning to my clean shaven self again... well, as most as I can be. I was blessed with incredible beard growing abilities and usually by afternoon, I need another shave again to be truly "clean shaven". You'd think that would be my demi-god ability but no, you should see the men in my mortal family. It's insane. I think I grew a better beard than Ari anyway. :P

But it is nice to not be mistaken for a terrorist or get yelled at in Arabic randomly by taxi drivers. Now it is back to being mistaken for Italian. I'm sure there is some sort of social commentary in there.

I've decided this holiday season, in honor of the community service I have to complete, I am going to donate to a lot of charities. Like, we don't need a big screen TV. I might as well donate it to a family that does need it. I also think I will donate to Toys for Tots. Two months of activism. I'm sure the priest at our church will be happy. Although, I don't know what he would think to think one of his parishioners is the child of a pagan god. Oh well, can't win them all. Of course, to Huey Freeman, a great scholar of pagan holidays, indicates Christmas is a pagan holiday anyway



Even so... I am still a fan of Christmas. Brady, Ari, I say we should fit a tree in here somehow.

And oh man, I have to do Christmas shopping. I HATE shopping, especially this time of year.

Current Mood: accomplished

Ah yes, Turkey Day. The day to get caught up with assorted relatives. It was a pretty good turn out this year and Mom's turkey was perfect. It was my grandparents in which my grandfather still tries to teach me Turkish. I think he is just upset about how American his grandchildren are. Ahhhh the melting pot. But so it was them and then Uncle Dal and Aunt Melissa with my cousin Annie (whose iPhone I stole. Hey, Baba was trying to gain your attention!). Then there was my Aunt Rana, who is the old maid. No, she's just in love with her job being an educator. I used to think she was my other mom growing up. My other maternal aunts and uncles all went to their spouse's families. Paternal side, Aunt Meg and Uncle Pete with my cousins Jake and Tina. Tina just decided on law school and Jake is working at a bookstore. He's a year younger than me.

And of course! My mom and my dad (not that dad, the other one) and my wet blanket of a baby brother, Andy. He spent most of the time drinking coffee to stay awake. Well, medical school will do that for you. I mean, he doesn't even respond to my jabbings. Although, let it be stated for the record, he is still ticklish. My step-sister, Olivia, brought her boyfriend, Cody, to dinner. He's the biggest nerd. Now, I'm a geek but I like to think I'm a high functioning geek. Cody was just this super shy type of guy who didn't know what to think of the chaos. I know Olivia has been dating this guy for a while but she never introduced us. I never knew why. I mean, Cody makes a killing in real estate law or some such and I am sure with his salary and Olivia's advertising salary, they could support each other. Now I see why. He is shorter than her and kind of mousy and he holds himself as such. Don't get me wrong, I think they compliment each other very well because Olivia is very controlling and bossy (I love you, sis) and he seems to be the opposite.

I did get in trouble with Olivia because I was giving Cody a hard time... playing the act of "concerned brother" who "didn't want you hurting my sister" and subtly slipping in comments that I bench and I went to Yale on an athletic scholarship. He was squirming all over the place. It was so hard to keep a straight face. By dessert I told him I was messing with him and we're going out for some lunch later in the week. This is because I am a nice guy and he was a good sport. And also because Olivia threatened to punch me in the balls if I didn't

Ari and Brady also showed up!

I have tons and tons of food. So if anyone wants any...

And by the way, Luz, I am not offering myself up as food. Just putting that out there.

Current Mood: full

Victory is mine! Sorta.

I had my hearing today. Combined with having an awesome lawyer and not having a criminal record, attempted assault charge was dropped and I was charged with resisting arrest (which I plead guilty to). So 20 hours of community service as opposed to some time in jail. I'm ordered to the soup kitchens! Just in time for the holidays! Awww.

Part of me wonders if I could just portal out of jail and just get some plastic surgery or talk to Jam to give me a new face...

I'm so glad the sins have been captured. You have no idea. I have to get rid of all the stuff I stole Between my stint in jail and my adventure with anonymous sex (Brady, I got an appointment next week, so chill) these sins have damaged my reputation.

Party tomorrow at our house! I will kick all yous in the ass at Mario Kart. And I call dibs on Yoshi.

And Shuro, I owe you lunch. And Lottie, you rock.

Current Mood: relieved

So you remember those college days in which one day you realize, "Where did my weekend go? Seriously, one moment, I'm getting out of class on Friday and bam! It's Monday morning!" And when you try to recall the weekend all you get is a montage that may or may not be set to some 80's classic for the background music and there is a laughing clown for some reason? And you're like, "WHAT IS THAT CLOWN?"

Yeah, that is how I felt yesterday but the potential for mind altering substances didn't happen later into the night and I woke up in some person's bed and I scooted out of there before they woke up and headed to work about 20 minutes late.

I feel hung over, twitchy, and VERY exhausted.

The good news is, I broke my dry spell. 8D

The bad news is... well, let me put it this way:

"Hey, Lust. Thanks for showing me a crazy evening/day/whatever. But you're a bitch for leaving without good bye. But I won't miss you anyway."

So, sorry. Everyone I sexually harassed. I owe each of you something. Just name the price.

P.S. - Brady, Ari: Not to alarm you guys or anything but perhaps we should rent Three Men and a Baby this weekend

Current Mood: exhausted

I'm feeling antsy today so I have a lunch... rendevous set.

So until then, entertain me. What underwear do you guys have on? >:D

Current Mood: bouncy

Wait! I think I can solve the puzzle!

Brady inflicted by SLOTH in the living room with the candlestick!

LOTTIE! Come over and do your thing! This one should be easy. He's just kinda lying there. I put on some Dora the Explorer and left the room to see how long it takes him >:D

If you don't answer in five minutes, I am gonna call you.

Current Mood: curious

ther is a fuckin lot of shit i fuckin hate right now.

LIKE SEREIOUSLY... WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCK DECIDES... HEY MY LIFE SUCKS so lets gucking send evryone to oblivionbn? And how... can anyone forgive such a person? no matter WHAT fucking happened. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M FUCKING SAYING HERE? Simone needs a punch in the fucking face. I WILL DELIVER IT NEXT TIME I SEE HIM.

ALSO... it is fucking CRIMINAL and pisses me off when a hot piece of ass works out right in fronrt of me and he's fucking STRAIGHT. It's just WHAT THE FUCK you know?

The police fucking suck. YES MY GODDAMN NAME IS AUGUSTE DUPIN TILKI! IT IS NOT FUCKING MUHAMMED! I'M NOT A FUCKING TERRORIST! IT ISN'T A FAKE IDENTITYU

Shit... I ran out of fucking vodka and this day won't fucking end. WHY AM I SO AWAKE. I WANT TO FUCKING THROW THIS BOTTLE AT SOMEONE... especially someone who wants to DESTOY EVERYTHING.

Current Mood: drunk